I know, I know. You might be rolling your eyes saying to yourself, “I thought this was a book about sex. Why waste my time talking about simple stuff like kissing?” That’s the wrong way to think! Don’t dismiss the sensuality of a great kiss. Physical intimacy is more than just penis in vagina. It’s a complete package and often begins with a kiss. The very first intimate physical act you’ll likely have with your husband is kissing. Don’t overlook it!
More than just the first intimate act you’ll have with your husband, kissing is actually one of the most intimate acts a couple can do. Think about all the senses which are centered in your face. Your sight, your smell, your hearing, your taste. It’s no wonder that couples who divorce often stop kissing long before they stop having sex. Sex can be romantic and intimate but it can also be simply passionate and lustful. Kissing, however, always conveys love. In the hookup culture we live in today, many people will have casual sex with others while refusing to give them a kiss. There’s a natural tendency to equate kissing with love.
As you read the following tips, realize that a lot of this will flow naturally between you and your husband. Don’t get too caught up with details. Especially your first time, just go with the flow. As you and your husband become more familiar with each other, you can start incorporating some of the techniques I mention.
Before even beginning to talk about how to kiss, I have to make sure to talk about oral hygiene. This is a real issue! You don’t want your husband to not kiss you because your breath smells bad! Same goes with the reverse. If your husband’s breath isn’t the greatest, find ways to subtly nudge him in the right direction. Schedule a dentist appointment for him if you need to. Make sure you’re brushing twice a day. Floss your teeth regularly. Get a non-alcoholic mouthwash and use it daily as well. If bad breath is still a problem, see a dentist! Finally, although not really hygiene, use chap stick to keep your lips soft. All of this will enhance the kissing experience.
Start by making eye contact with your husband. Give him a small smile and a light touch before beginning the actual kiss. Maybe put your hand on his face or touch his leg. Make him anticipate the kiss.
Begin slowly and gently. You don’t want to rush into the kiss and bump teeth. Start with a kiss on the lips. Tilt your head to the side so that you don’t bump noses. When your lips meet, slowly squeeze his lips into yours.
After a while, you can morph this into a French kiss. Do this by slowly
opening your mouth wider until you can put your tongue into his mouth and touch his tongue. Use your tongue. Tease him with light flicks. Go back and forth into each other’s mouths. Trace the edge of his lips with the tip of your tongue. Explore his mouth! Feel his gums and teeth with your tongue. Make sure to give him opportunity to reciprocate.
Don’t just kiss on the lips. He has other kissable parts too! Work on his neck and collarbone. Bite, but gently. Nibble his earlobe or neck. Maybe his bottom lip. If you’re adventurous, give him a hickey. Kiss his neck with a slightly open mouth. Suck in the skin. This will leave a mark so be careful where you do it!
Remember, a kiss is more than just your mouth. Use your hands. Don’t leave your hands limp in front of you or on your lap. Explore your husband’s body. Put your arms around his neck. Touch his arms. Run your hands down his back or chest. Run your fingers through his hair and massage his scalp. His body is exclusively yours for the rest of your marriage! Explore the goods!
Tease him in the middle sometimes. Pull back for a second or two and look him straight in the eyes. Wait for him to pull you back in. Time then when you need a break for air so it doesn’t break the mood.
Whisper in his ear. “You are so hot.” “I’ve been waiting all day to kiss you”. Exhale your warm breath onto his ear. This drives men crazy.
If you want to take some control when kissing, put your hand on his chin. You can manipulate his face from side to side and control where you kiss him.
Mix things up. You don’t have to do all the above every time. Try one or two, mix things together.
While this is about mouth to mouth kissing, remember, he has an entire body to explore. The lower back, the butt, and the stomach are sensitive areas that are fun to kiss (and be kissed at!).
After it’s done, tell him how fun it was! Marriage is not a time to be stoic. Let him know you enjoyed it. “That was amazing!” “I can’t get enough of kissing you!”. If he did something that you especially liked, let him know so he does it more often! Communicate!