This is one of the most important sections of the book. There are few things which will make your husband lust after you more than the sight of you on your knees in front of him, giving him oral sex.
Blowjobs are something where your skills can continuously improve. Even with no experience, your first time giving him a blowjob will be an event to remember. After that, it can only get better as you get more adept at various maneuvers. You’ll find that oral sex is very versatile and can be done in so many positions and so many places.
Before you give a blowjob though, make sure that your husband is shaved down there. Go back and review the section on genital hygiene. You want your husband to be clean and (relatively) odor-free down there. Hair does not make oral sex appealing.
Start your blowjob by kissing him like normal Think about it as a prelude to the main act. While you’re kissing him, use one hand to slowly beginning rubbing his crotch. Once you feel his penis hardening, unbutton and unzip his pants, pulling them all the way down.
Now that his penis is exposed, get down on your knees. The submissive nature of this position makes it arousing for a lot of people. During the times you prefer something less submissive, have him lay down on a bed and then position yourself between his crotch. It’s still an inherently submissive act, but this slightly decreases that aspect of it.
Don’t start by immediately taking his penis into your mouth. Work outwards and come in, building up the anticipation. Kiss around his crotch and groin. Tickle his balls with the tips of your fingers. Spend some time coming closer to the penis, enjoying the sexual tension that builds up as you tease him below.
When you decide to begin, start by gently stroking his penis with your hand. Again, you’re building up the tension as he anticipates your mouth meeting his penis. Do this for just 30-45 seconds. Then, lower your mouth and take his penis in. Keep your lips wrapped around it and move it in and out. The more saliva you can get, the better it’ll feel for him. Use your tongue to massage his penis while it’s moving in and out. As you get more comfortable, take more and more of him inside of you with each stroke. There’s a good chance you’ll eventually take him so far in that you trigger your gag reflex. Don’t worry, it’s natural.
The most sensitive part of a penis is called the frenulum. This is right where the head of his penis meets his shaft, on the back portion of his penis. Gently flick this while sucking him to stimulate it. Some men don’t have a frenulum, depending on the method by which they were circumcised. It’s not a big deal if it’s not there.
Now, you don’t always have to build up the tension like this. Some days, you may feel like cutting straight to the chase. Simply undo his pants, take his penis out, take it in your mouth, and begin pleasuring him. The key to a spicy sex life is variation. Don’t always do one or the other. Some days, you’ll prefer the slow, anticipation building blowjob. Other days, you’ll prefer to go straight to the main event. Keep it fresh by switching then up.
With the basics out of the way, there are other things you can do in a blowjob to make it interesting. Don’t use all these techniques at once. Think about them like spices on food. You add one or two per dish, not all. So the first time, have a completely plain blowjob, just your mouth and up and down. Add in one technique next time, then another the time after that.
Techniques
Kiss! It’s not just for the mouth! Yes, kiss his penis. You can do small quick pecks or long wet sloppy kisses. Not only is it erotic and arousing to watch for him, it’ll give your jaw a rest from having him in your mouth.
Make eye contact. Seeing his penis inside your mouth while you’re looking up at him will really turn on your husband. Don’t be shy, he enjoys seeing you like this, so indulge him.
Talk during the blowjob. You might wonder how you can talk if your mouth is otherwise occupied. Well, during a blowjob, you don’t have to have his penis in your mouth the entire time. Make use of your hands intermittently to give your jaw a rest. That’s when you talk to him. Tell him how much you’re enjoying giving him a blowjob. Ask him how he likes the feeling. Talk dirty to him if you’re comfortable with that.
A small variation is to apply pressure with just your lips. Take your
husband’s penis into your mouth and make an O shape with your lips. Press down using just your lips. Then, bob your head up and down, taking his penis in and out of your mouth.
Do not, do not, do NOT use your teeth on a blowjob. This is a tip found in many women’s sex magazines and you have to wonder if it’s a revenge plot from an estranged ex-lover. Imagine if your husband was using his teeth when performing oral sex on you. Don’t do it.
Licking. A blowjob isn’t just taking his penis into your mouth. Use your tongue in its entirety. Treat his penis like a lollipop and use your tongue to lick it from the base to the very tip. Spend more time at the head, working your tongue all around and under it to stimulate his nerves. Your tongue is surprisingly muscular and you can really work his penis using just your tongue. Spiral your tongue around the top of his penis. Move it in circles and alternate directions and speed.
Just like in a handjob (which you can be doing alongside a blowjob), don’t forget about his balls. They’re fun to play with and pleasurable for him. You can lick them, kiss them, or suck on them. You can switch to stroking his penis with your hand while you take his balls into your mouth and then reverse it, fondling his balls with your hand while you take his penis into your mouth. Just don’t neglect them.
Use your hands! In addition to working his penis with your hands when you take a break to rest your jaw, use your hands while in the process of giving oral sex. You’re probably going to have at least a few inches of his penis hanging out of your mouth. Use a hand on the exposed shaft to give sensation there as well.
Suck him. This requires energy but is very pleasurable. Wrap your lips around his penis and take the first few inches into your mouth. Suck on it gently. This will cause your cheeks to grab his penis and make him moan
Cheek sex. A lot of women want to deep throat their husband (next section)but simply can’t do it. This is an easier alternative that mimics most of that feeling. Clamp your mouth shut and then take his penis into your mouth, pushing it against the outside of your check. His penis will be between your teeth and your cheek. Now suck in, trapping his penis inside that pocket. It creates a unique feeling, very similar to that of deep throating.
When you’re giving oral sex, make sure you tell him to communicate when he’s about to ejaculate. There’s a difference of opinion, but most scholars say swallowing is haram.[iii] You can finish by having him cum on your face (facial), onto your chest (pearl necklace) or just collect it in your hand. If you don’t mind changing the sheets, you can just aim his penis away from you and have him ejaculate on the bed.