I know I said this wasn’t a book about biology but it is important to know some basic facts about what’s going on down there. I’ve kept this section as short as possible, if you want to know more biology, there are plenty of textbooks with that information. If you’re already familiar with the anatomy, you can skip this section as it can be a bit dry.
Female anatomy
A lot of people, even women, refer to the entire female sexual anatomy as “vagina”. This isn’t accurate. What most people call the “vagina” is actually the vulva. This is the outer part of your genitalia. The mons pubis or pubic mound is the fatty tissue over your pubic bone. This fatty tissue serves an important function of acting as a protective cushion during sex. It divides into two folds of skin called the labia majora. Some women refer to this as their “outer vaginal lips”. During sex (or arousal), the labia majora fills with blood and gets bigger. It’s also an erogenous zone, and the feeling you get when touching it is similar to the feeling your husband gets when you touch his scrotum. If you push the labia majora apart, you’ll see a thinner set of lips called the labia minora, or as some women call it, “inner vaginal lips”. They join together at the top and form a “hood” over the clitoris. The clitoral hood is the female equivalent of a man’s foreskin.
The clitoris is a small little bit of tissue which is covered by this hood. It serves only one purpose—sexual pleasure. For those who think that women shouldn’t enjoy sex, this is a sign from Allah. Men do not have any organ solely dedicated to sexual pleasure. The same penis they use for sex is also used for urination. For women though, the clitoris serves no purpose other than sexual pleasure. There are over eight thousand sensory nerve endings in an area the size of a pea.
Finally, the perineum is the area between your anus and your vulva. It too is an erogenous zone and stimulating it can feel pleasurable. The perineum is stretched during childbirth and can often tear, especially if it’s your first child. And that’s just the outside bit of your anatomy!
“Vagina” is the main word we associate with female genitalia. The vagina is actually the opening/canal that goes from your vulva all the way internally to a structure called the cervix. The average depth of a vagina is 3-5 inches when unaroused and 5-8 inches deep when aroused. In terms of pleasure, the first few inches are the most sensitive. Depending on your husband’s length and your depth, as well as the position you two have chosen, you may find the head of his penis hitting your cervix. For some women, this can be painful while for others, it can be pleasurable.
Male anatomy
Men are much more simple down there. You only really need to know two things: he has a penis and he has testicles.
Testicle (aka balls) are the male equivalent of your ovaries. Size can vary quite widely. Anything from grape sized testicles to egg sized testicles is normal. If your husband has pea sized testicles and is very muscular, there’s a high chance his muscle mass is due to anabolic steroids. The main thing to remember about testicles is that they are very tender. This is not a place you should be rough. A sharp tap on a man’s testicle can momentarily cripple him. Keep that in mind when you’re having sex. Another thing to know is that there is no relation between size of his testicles and the amount of semen he produces. A teaspoon amount of semen is about normal for most men. Pornographic actors take supplements to increase the amount they ejaculate for filming (or, through creative camera angles, use corn syrup to give the illusion that they are ejaculating). Don’t go expecting buckets of ejaculation from your husband. That’s a porn fantasy as well.
The other thing down there is his penis. Unlike in a woman’s genitals where there is a distinct sexual organ (the clitoris) and a place to urinate (the urethra), men have only one thing. The same place where urine exits is where semen comes out of.
I’m sure you’re wondering about size. How does your husband stack up against others? Here’s the data: The average length of an erect penis is between 4.5 and 5.75 inches. I did not make a typo. The mean length of an erect penis is 5.17 inches with a standard deviation of 0.65 inches. Look it up. British Journal of Urology did the largest, most systematic review on the subject in 2015. Didn’t I tell you before that porn was not educational? Women who watch porn or read a lot of erotica can end up thinking that the average penis is 7 inches and that anything less than that is small. Less than 7% of men have a penis 7 inches or longer. The 8 inch penises popular in porn make up less than half of one percentage of all men. Odds are, your husband’s penis is between 4 and 6 inches. He’s not abnormal, that’s a normal size for a penis. Another thing about penises is that they can be flaccid or erect. There’s no relation between penis size when flaccid and when erect. Some men go from a 4 inch penis when flaccid to a 5 inch penis when erect. Others go from a 1.5 inch penis when flaccid to a 7 inch penis when flaccid. No relationship at all.
More importantly, most women who are unsatisfied in the bedroom are not unsatisfied because of their partner’s penis size. Satisfaction in bed isn’t related to his penis size (unless it is extremely small or extremely large). Whether your husband has a 4 inch penis or a 7 inch penis, he can still satisfy you in bed. Don’t get disheartened if he’s on the smaller size, he might be a better lover than a man who’s much better endowed. On the flipside, don’t be surprised if you find that you’re not satisfied in bed despite having a husband who is well endowed. As you’ll discover by reading this book, there’s a lot more to enjoying your sex life than your husband’s penis size.