“Rape” fantasies are extremely common for women. You’re not weird for wanting it. It has nothing to do with an actual desire to be raped or a sign of mental illness. There’s a push to relabel “rape” fantasies as “forced sex” fantasies because that’s what they really are. It has nothing to do with wanting to go through the trauma of rape. Instead, it’s a fantasy of being ravished and taken forcefully. There’s something arousing about that.
With that said, this is not for everyone. For men or women. Some women want nothing to do with forced sex fantasies. Some men want nothing to do with forced sex fantasies. This is one place where I make an exception to the rule that we should accommodate our spouses’s fantasies and predilections. If either of you is disturbed by this, don’t even try to attempt it.
Communication is so important if you go ahead with this. You must establish a safe word that both of you can use. You also have to establish what the boundaries are of what can be done in terms of physical aggression. You have to agree beforehand if you’ll be using any instruments like handcuffs or gags.
See the next section on BDSM for some more help in terms of forced sex fantasies.